Sexual Response Cycle (SRC) is a complex interaction of physical and emotional changes that occur sequentially when a person participates in any sexual activities. SRC involves the sequential transition between four phases, beginning from the influx of excitements or sexual urge; followed by a period of constant ecstatic emotional and physical stability despite a sexual activity continuum. Then, a short period of orgasm follows, which is characterized by a sudden spike in euphoric feelings and attaining the zenith of sexual pleasure; this phase also involves squinting in ladies and ejaculation in men. The last phase (resolution) sets in quickly, and it involves the emotional and physical tranquillity, where the body becomes calm and reboots to start the sequence again should in case, the sexual stimulations continue. Every sexual activity including attraction, acquaintance/ flirting, coitus, sexual stimulations, personal pleasures, pornography, and sex-texting/talking etc., will lead to/ or part of SRC under the total control of the Brain/Mind.
The brain is the greatest sex organ, and this it involves the use of “mind”, the faculty of consciousness and thought, to control and pilot all emotional and physical activities relating to sex. Several professional studies of neuroscientist show that the brain controls all sexual activities, and “if you want to change a person ‘sexual identity’, change the way he thinks”. By implication, a person’s mind dictates his sexual identity, the type of sexual attraction, sexual orientation, sexual gratification, and even sexual fantasies etc. Also, it’s important to note that the factors that affect the brain/mind like biological (inheritance & evolution) and environmental factors such as geographical location, social moral, ethical, theological, cultural, and religion, can influence people’s sexual traits.
In this article, we will discuss how the mind (brain) controls and affects the physical and emotional sexual activities of people. We’ll discuss the role of the mind in the seven aspects of human sexuality: 1) sexual attraction, 2) sexual activities, 3) orgasm & sexual gratification 4) sexual orientations, and 5) sexual fetishism.
Role of the Mind on the Laws of Sexual Attractions
Sexual attraction, the ability to evoke sexual interest from another person, precedes any form of sexual activity, and it affects sexual selection/ mate choice significantly. Attraction and sexual selection form a complex, but a related concept that is tailored by the mind and factors such as biological heredity and evolutional theory etc. Classically, the law of attraction can be defined as “like-sex repels, and unlike-sex attracts”! That’s to say, male attracts female and vice versa, while they repel people of same sex. However, the advent and acceptance of homosexualism in the past centuries have notified this ideology and studies show that human sexuality and orientation has evolved over time. Thus, sexual orientation is a state of mind influenced by perception and environmental factors. Despite the invalidity of “like-sex repels, and unlike-sex attracts” as regard opposite-sex attraction in recent times, the theory can be applied in a case of “The “good girl” and the “bad boy”. This means that a typical good and responsible girl desires and wants a guy who can break all rules and delivers to her the adventurous emotional and sexual life she never had but longed for and vice versa. This is a simple law which most of the playboys/ girls use in manipulating their potential sexual partner, which is a conscious brain/mind manipulative act just by playing by the rules of attraction rather than any physical or emotional feelings.
Sexual selection as regards Charles Darwin’s theory of ‘natural selection’ is a universal law that governs attraction and sexual selections among human. Darwin notes that sexual selection is of two kinds and concludes that both kinds operate on humans: “The sexual struggle is of two kinds; in the one it is between the individuals of the same sex, generally the male sex, in order to drive away or kill their rivals, the females remaining passive; whilst in the other, the struggle is likewise between the individuals of the same sex, in order to excite or charm those of the opposite sex, generally the females, which no longer remain passive, but select the more agreeable partners”. In simple terms, the law states that men will compete among themselves to emerge the Alfa-male that appeals a female more and likewise, females will compete among themselves to be the most beautiful, sexy, and noticeable girl that every male would go for at any given place or time.
This law has been imprinted in every human’s mind and shows in every generation depending on the situation, creating a competitive platform for both sexes to select their mating partners. With competition comes sexual jealousy! With light (healthy) jealousy comes infatuation! Infatuation leads to a strong emotional and physical attraction, which is the force of nature that helps human to choose a mating partner for either procreation or sexual adventure.
The competition that ‘natural selection’ creates, however, makes it difficult to find a sexual partner, and thus necessary for both male and female to consciously enhance their self-attractiveness. The conscious attraction enhancement of human is a brain/mind response to the competitive sexual selection environment, in which a typical male tries to be the alpha male in the room by exhibiting the main characteristics of an alpha male such as being the strongest, the most financially buoyant, social economically influential and the best physical appearance in the room. Whilst the female counterpart strives to be the prettiest, sexiest, and the most ornamentally sophisticated lady in the room all in an attempt to be more appealing to every potential male. Nowadays, the quest for attraction enhancement rose significantly in the world with both male and female trying to improve their flirting ability, body ornamentation, improving makeup techniques and even the use of a sweet savour fragrance or pheromone in an attempt to attract and appeal their potential crush. Also, ladies go furthers to enhance their beauty even up to the extent of engaging in body augmentation surgical procedures such as breast implants, butt implants and augmentation procedures etc.
Generally speaking, women tend to be concern more about their physical appearance, beauty and their acceptance by the men, which translate to their day to day activities such as women indispensable attachment to mirrors that’s a sexual character by piloted by the brain through evolutional, environmental and genetic influences.
Another aspect of attraction where the brain has the best of men is in the case of an anxiety whenever a man approaches a female potential mating partner. Most men either most have experienced an anxiety before or still having it whenever they are about to woo a lady in their lifetime. Donald Dutton and Arthur Aron 1970s research shows that most men experience anxiety every day whilst selecting their mate. This anxiety can be enhanced by low self-esteem, low Alfa-male ego, medical conditions, or feeling of inferiority complex in men. Classically, men with low confidence/ anxiety while wooing are considered “losers” and an Alfa-male thus is usually the last to get a female sexual partner. This is a psychological issue and state of mind, which can be corrected by booking an appointment with a registered psychologist.
Role of the Mind/ Brain in the General Sexual Activities
Sexual Response Cycle (SRC) as described earlier is totally under the control of the brain through the production of some natural substances such as sex hormones, and oxytocin, A. K. A love hormone, this evokes the sexual urge by increasing the blood flow down to the sex organs. Also, for those with a sexual urge that was able to secure a sexual partner to engage in sexual intercourse will further have their erogenous body zones stimulation, which will stimulate the brain more creating an even stronger urge and good feeling until the brain reaches climax during any type of sexual activities.
Another way in which the brain regulates sexual activities in women is through their monthly periods. Several studies show that women’s “heat period”, that is to say, the time that the sexual urge is at its peak, corresponds to the time the flow stops till the time of ovulation (5th to 15th day) of the women’s cycle. Women show more need for emotional and physical needs during this period making them available for sexual activities! Couples who understand this tend to have a regular and healthy sex life in their bedroom.
A noteworthy importance of the mind in the initial period of a new relationship just after acquaintance is in the “sexual mind games”. There are many mind games that both men and women play in a relationship, during acquaintance or dates in other to achieve personal gains such as sex, money, attention, and special cares etc. We will only focus on the key and crucial moment that determines the direction of the relationship to either ‘friend zone’ or intimate relationship. Relationship experts believe that such key moments occur during the initial dates usually 1st to 5th where the man has the chance to establish himself and break the barrier of the lady or forever remains in the friend zone. The friend zone is a situation in which one member of a friendship wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not. It’s usually a state of mind rather than a physical state; arguably, some critics believe such thing like friend zone doesn’t exist. However, several psychologists wrote about it and claim that the man in a cross-gender friendship is more likely to be attracted to his woman friend more than she is to him, and he is more likely to overestimate her interest in a romantic or sexual relationship.
I remembered to have conducted a small survey back during my university days through a questionnaire using a scenario. We were asking ladies from different backgrounds, ethnics and colours that ”they should imagine being in a room privately with a guy they like and would love to have an intimate relationship with, but no prior sexual encounter with the guy” if such guy fails to make a sexual advancement moves, what will they think of the guy? And can they still proceed to have a sexual relationship with such a guy? About 25% of the ladies said that such a guy is a “nice guy”, in good context, and that they may give him second chance and still proceed to date him. On a contrary, 75% of the ladies said that such a guy is a “nice guy”, meaning stupid and that even though they will keep him as a very good friend that they will feel comfortable around, but they can never date him again. This implies friend zone! Similar surveys have been asked by experts all over the world with a similar response that shows that one moment of psychoemotional mind game could trap a lover in an indefinite friend zone.
Another importance sexual activity that the brain and mind can influence is “pornography”. Pornography any material—whether written, visual, or otherwise—that consists of sexually explicit material, images and activities that are intended to stimulate erotic feelings. In other words, any film, image, magazine, or book that fits in these criteria is pornography. Pornography addiction is a global problem and it involves a person that can’t do without pornography and that have affected the real-life relationships, jobs, and day-to-day life. Pornography addiction is a psychological disorder just like any other addiction affecting the brain rather than the physical body. Cognitive behavioural therapy and rehabilitation can help those who suffer Pornography addiction.
Role of Brain and Mind in Orgasm and Sexual Gratification
Orgasm is the peak of brains stimulation during a Sexual Response Cycle; sexual gratification is the sense of complete sexual satisfaction after a complete SRC or sexual activity by the brain. Even though sex may appeal to be physical contact, nevertheless, if psycho-emotional needs are not met during, such person may not satisfy sexually. It’s a fact that not all sexual encounter gives gratification with or without orgasm. That means sexual gratification is more complex than just penetration and feeling but includes romance, emotional connection, experience, style and psychological state of mind at the time of the encounter. On the other hand, the discrepancy between the timing of SRC in both men and women makes it difficult for women to attain orgasm during sex, therefore putting pressure on men to last longer in bed so that the lady can “come” before the sex round is over.
Premature ejaculation is the condition where a man can’t last more than 4 minutes in bed, which earns such men a name called “Indomie man” because the man can only last the amount of time required to cook Indomie noodles. What is the solution to premature ejaculation? The answer is quite simple; studies show that the tendency of orgasm depends on the level of brains stimulation during sex. “Therefore Indomie man” reaches maximum stimulation within a short time, while men that last longer attain maximum brain stimulation in a longer time. There are two mechanisms of brain stimulation during sex. Firstly, the increase in the intensity of stimulation of the erogenous zones and all sense organs, which can occur during a faster, and vigorous sex with or without intense moaning sounds. This leads to an intense stimulation of the brain, which causes orgasm. Secondly, the fixation of attention on the sexual act or sex eliciting thought during intercourse excites the brain more and is the major cause of premature ejaculation. A thought is a powerful brain stimulant and at the same time can block any other stimulation coming from the sense organs of the body including sexual stimulation from genital.
So, the most effective solution for “Indomie man” is to always fix his mind on non-sexual relating thoughts during sex, though this may require practice before it can be perfected! The second solution is to engage in a slow and steady penetration that can prolong sex time but may affect the sexual satisfaction of the female partner.
Role of the Mind/ Brain in Sexual Orientation
Sexual orientation, the pattern of sexual attraction to either opposite sex or same-sex or both, forms the core of human sexuality and sexual identity. This is one of the most controversial aspects of sexuality with divided opinions among many. However, everyone has his or her own sexual orientation be ye heterosexual (to opposite sex), homosexuals (to the same sex), or bisexual (both sexes). Several studies show that the brain structure determines the sexual orientation of a person, though this can be significantly influenced by biological factors such as genes and chemical substances like sex hormones; environmental factors also play an important role in the way the brain is wired to give human its sexual orientation. Environmental factors such as early childhood experiences, parenting, sexual abuse, social acceptance or rejection of homosexualism can influence sexual orientation. However severe studies have ended in futility trying to settle the dispute of homosexuality amongst the pros and the critics of such practice. Whilst we may never settle the controversies surrounding sexual orientation, we do know that the brain’s structure that is determined by biology and child’s environmental upbringing affects sexual orientation.
Role of the Mind/ Brain in Sexual Fetishism
Sexual fetishism a form of sexual behaviour in which gratification is associated to an abnormal degree to a particular object, activity, part of the body, etc. that are not sexual body parts. Sexual fetishism may be normal or abnormal/mental disorder if it causes significant psychosocial distress for the person or has detrimental effects on important areas of their life. Examples of fetishism are BDSM (Bondage & dominance, Submission & Masochism); Paraphilia, s the experience of intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, situations, and fantasies etc., such as urophilia (sexual excitation by urine), necrophilia (having sex with a corpse), algophilia (sexual excitation by pain) and coprophilia (sexual excitation by faeces) etc. Studies subject that fetishism occurs due to an unusual connection between centres of the brain, while others suggest that the possibility of prenatal neurodevelopmental and behavioural development cause of paraphilia. In a short word, a problem with brain development may cause atypical sexual fantasies or behaviour.
The World Health Organisation (WHO) recognises paraphilia as a disorder and can be treated with cognitive behavioural therapy